The Poopie List

Years ago, I came across 'The Poopie List.' Like all good things, it is still making its way around the internet. In honor of my post at SunnyDaze, here is a list of the many different kind of poopies in our lives.

THE POOPIE LIST

Ghost Poopie (ghostus poopius) - The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie (cleanius poopius) - The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie (drainiuges poopius) - The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.

Second Wave Poopie (startulus secondus poopius) - This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead Poopie (killus veinius poopius) - The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Gassy Poopie (gassius poopius) - It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling.

Drinker Poopie (drunkius poopius) - The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Lincoln Log Poopie (presidentis poopius) - The kind of poopie that is so huge, you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush. Also see DEAD DROP POOPIE.

Corn Poopie (cornius poopius) - Self-explanatory.

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie Poopie (gee I wish I could poopius poopius) - The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie (screamus loudusly poopius) - That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie (splashius assius poopius) - The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

Liquid Poopie (waterius poopius) - The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Poopie (foreignius poopius) - A party poopie! This poopie explodes like a pinata, and it smells so bad your nose burns.

Dead Drop Poopie (zombies poopius) - The biggest poopie of them all! A poopie so huge, it takes at least a dozen flushes, some jabbing, and praying to get it down. Referred to as the big brother of the Lincoln Log Poopie.

Nut Poopie (nutius poopius) - One of the most painful poopies in the whole history of poopie-ing occurs when one has too much fiber and/or does not chew food finely enough. It can cause rectum cuts and 'Burn Trails.'

Shotgun Poopie (12-gaugius poopius) - A poopie that is thought to be a fart while on the toilet, but it explodes violently with a loud gunlike fart and at least 12 poopie pellets shoot out. Anything in the toilet is brutally mauled.

Surprise Poopie (shitius on thyselfius poopius) - You're not even at the toilet because you are are sure you're about to fart, but oops! A poopie!

Dangling Poopie (klingonius poopius) - This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.